Wednesday, November 2, 2011

No more Ace Ventura for that boy...

I'm going to my very own special hell, methinks. Well, I'm certain our doctor's assistant thinks, anyway.

Today was "Shot Day" for the twins. Which, with them, is a big production, but it's generally over pretty quick. YAY! (I say "yay", not because I LOVE seeing my children jabbed with pokey metal objects [I really don't], but because dealing with the cacophonous chaos of their powers combined STILL doesn't hold a candle to dealing with Gaius on Shot Day. They scream and cry. Biscuit overturns exam tables. They sit and kick their feet. Little brother requires a full body tackle and bear hug from Daddy, and still manages to squirm free.  [Also, I'm pretty sure he has already started a hit list, and our doctors assistant is numero uno on that list.] On Shot Day for Gaius, the minute we walked into the room, it was like he had whitecoat flashbacks.  He started screaming his head off, scrambled up onto my shoulder like a cracked out chimp, and got a death grip on my eye sockets. I'm kinda surprised he wasn't flinging poo. I finally got him calmed down right about the time the doctor's assistant administered the shots. Ooooh...big mistake. He SCA-REAMED vehemently at the top of his lungs, jabbed at her with Angry Monkey finger, and gave her such a murderous glare that she got uncomfortable enough to mention it. "I REALLY don't like the way he just looked at me. It was very threatening." If it were any other toddler, I would have been like "He's just a baby" and laughed it off. But Gaius? I think he could execute a little of the old ultraviolence, were he of the mind. )
ANYWAY. Back to the story.  It comes Roman's turn, and he - being the most dramatic of the twins - starts wailing at the top of his lungs. I try very hard not to smirk, because this is SERIOUS BUSINESS. According to the needle person. She wipes him with the alcohol swab and he sets to SCREAMING like he's being mauled by a Bengal Tiger. And then she pokes him, and he freaking loses it, and shrieks "IT'S INNN THE BOOONNNE! IT'S INNN THE BOOONNNE!" At which point I can't hold back, and start roaring with laughter so hard I very nearly pee myself, while the doctors assistant stares at me, aghast. 2 seconds later, Boogie starts cracking up, and the next thing you know we're ALL laughing maniacally - including Roman - while Miss Pokey slowly backs out of the room, eyes wide in horror at the family possessed.
If laughter is the best medicine, I think we’re all stocked up. With an overflow of crazy.


  1. whoo hoo I figured it out!! That excites me far more than it should I think...

  2. I am excited another friend has a blog for me to read! The fact that it's funny just makes it that much better.

  3. Thanks for making me quietly laugh so hard, I almost woke the nursing baby up! :)