Thursday, November 17, 2011

And shepherds we shall be...

Do you want to know why I don't take my girl on shows like "Toddlers and Tiaras"? Other than common sense, I mean. It's because Boogie would elbow check every one of those painted tarts right in the juicebox. Then she would go to work on their kids. Pa-DOW! She is sweet, and loveable, and intelligent, and absofuckinglutely ruthless. 

This one time, when she was a little over 2, she and her brother were playing in the play area in the mall, and this 5ish big ol' bully came along and pushed Roman down. When Robot got up, the bastard pushed him down again. Little jerk was prancing around the play area, so proud of himself. Boogie, in all her innocence, was sitting at the top of the slide, and - calculating speed and trajectory, and factoring in the kids inflated ego - pushed off at the right time to take him out at the knees. He buckled, and then pitched forward, slammed into one of the foam cars, and split his lip. Boogie got up, dusted her knees, then STEPPED ON HIM, and went on playing. The child's mother was livid. "Aren't you going to do anything?!" "You're right - BOOGIE! Come here please." Boogie walks over. "Want to go get some ice cream?" Then we called Roman over and walked out.

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