Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Leaf Soup Muffins

Okay. Boogie named these “Leaf Soup Muffins.” I have no idea why. Neither leaves nor soup come into play in the making of these muffins. Anyone having insight into the mind of that child, you let me know.

Sift together about 3C of Gluten-free flour substitute and 1t Xanthum gum (This is simply 3C flour for those not going gluten-free)in the biggest fucking bowl you have, because you’re going to need it. If you don’t have a big bowl…use a roasting pan. A bucket. I don't care. Have your 2 year old add and whisk everywhere (because there is not a snowballs chance on Vesuvius that he will be able to keep it all in the bowl, hence the biggest bowl you have being implemented in an effort to reduce spillage) -
2T baking powder
1T salt
1T cinnamon
1/2t Ground Fennel seeds, because, hey- why the hell not. He’s already added a dash of curry powder.
Fight with same 2-year old that "pepper is not necessarily a good ingredient for these muffins!"
Add 1 grind pepper to stop the screaming.
Sift that all together.
In a wet bowl - help your 2-year old whisk -
4 eggs
2C milk
1T vanilla
1C packed brown sugar
and about 1 and a half to 2 sticks melted butter, whilst your 5-year old twins put the muffin cups in the muffin tins, and argue loudly about who is the fastest.
Have the twins THEN fight about who is going to pour the wet ingredients onto dry ingredients, then do it yourself, spilling about a cup on the countertop in the process when the 2-year old bumps your arm in his attempt to get up on a chair and “HEP!”
Stir a bit, just enough to moisten dry ingredients evenly.
Right about now, kick everyone out of the kitchen because they are in your way, and you stubbed your toe on the bottom of one of their chairs.
Then, to the giant bowl, add about 3C leftover cooled Bobs Mighty Tasty Gluten-Free Cereal to which there has been added a shit-ton of cinnamon, a dash of nutmeg, and 2 whole chopped apples during the cooking process. Mix briefly until mostly not lumpy.
Call the crying kids back into the kitchen and watch their faces light up when you tell them they can put the muffin batter in the muffin cups. Stand back. Expect that ½ of the batter will end up either on the counter or on the muffin tin and the other half mostly in the cups. Have the 2-year old top with brown sugar and whatever spices he happens to add last second. Cook for 15 minutes in a 400 degree oven. May take a little more or less time, depending on your oven and whether or not you (or your sneaky, sneaky children) subbed in some stuff.