Friday, June 10, 2011

This house is CLEEEEAAANNN!!!

Had some family drop in at D'Agovillagio for a visit. With them came a moment of self-realization: I fucking HATE it when someone comes into my house and exclaims, in surprise, every time, "Wow! Your house looks so CLEAN today!" My guess is they're trying to be nice, but their tone and inflection make me feel like every time they've visited before, our house was a fucking sty.
Two things - 1: I clean my house regularly, and - of course - more so when people come to visit, but sometimes, well - I don't fucking feel like cleaning. Or I’m playing with my kids. Sometimes I get distracted from the chores by LIFE. Shit stacks up. Deal with it.
2: I have THREE CHILDREN. It takes them about half a second to DESTROY a full day of cleaning, so fuck off - if my house has been dirty when you were here before, it seriously could have happened 3 seconds before you walked through the door. Have you SEEN Gaius eat a muffin?
My family is happy and healthy. The mess isn't gross, it's just...messy. If the unkempt nature of my domicile makes you uncomfortable, there are options. I could get you a blindfold. You could pick up a broom and go to work. You could help yourself to a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up. Whatever works. Just don't come up in my house and insult me, or I'll be forced to do the same to you.