Monday, April 30, 2012

As god is my witness, I'll never be hungry again...

Confession time. So. I have a little secret - I'm sort of a food snob. Not in the snooty "I only eat caviar massaged from the wombs of virgin beluga floated to me on crackers made of angel farts" way, but in the "I feed my kids tons of organic fresh fruits and vegetables and meats and very little processed food so when you offer my kid a Twinkie I'm liable to insert said Twinkie into the most uncomfortable orifice on your person" way. So when moms would tell me "All my child eats is peanut butter and jelly," I always thought - and I think I may actually have said this to several  moms - "It's because you don't know how to cook well, or you are choosing not to feed them good food." Yeah. Well, turns out, I'm kind of a jerk. I have my own reasons for hating PB&J, and I never really took into account the kids side of it, that they might actually like peanut butter and jelly. Until now. When it is the only thing my children request to eat. For every meal. Ever. My children. The broccoli loving, fast food hating, water guzzling, juice-is-too-sweet-for-us champions of healthy, constant consumption.These kids would rather have a peanut butter sandwich than PIZZA. PIIIIIZZAAAAA!!! In fact, they actually HATE pizza. What. Thehell. I mean, I know it's not the healthiest food, but C'MON! I thought that was every kids go-to food.
Self-doubt sets in. I'm sobbing in the corner going "What have I done wrong?!?! Why?! Why do they hate me?! WAHHHHH!!!! Is it my cooking? Does it actually suck, and all this time people have just been being nice to me, when really, they thought I was feeding them roadkill skunk scraped off the freeway, slathered in frog sauce and slapped on a plate?"
I'm a feeder. I like to feed people. So this is just not acceptable. I have to find a way to turn peanut butter and jelly on its head. Or stop buying it altogether, but then I'm afraid my kids will stop eating... what to do, what to DO?!


  1. That there is a "HA!" response button is more than perfect as it was my EXACT reaction. *I* am one of those people who has been advised that I didn't cook food well enough to appeal to my young'n. And, you were kinda right. Still, she didn't want the roasted broccoli. I, HOWEVER, loved learning the new oven-roasted veggie skill and am thankful and I'm sure when Ru decides she's ready to see me as a human being more than her PB&Honey-maker, she'll appreciate that I roasted veggies for her, too.

    The other night she demanded dinner and I demanded she read to me whilst I prepare it. When she stood her ground that she wouldn't read, I got flexible and offered to swap roles. Yes, I read aloud while she prepared PB&honey sammies on wheat, rinsed grape tomatoes, and cow's milk to wash it down...all organic, dontcha know...and we both were pleased.

    ~Ruby's Mama

    (Love you!)

  2. The other day I posted something about giving Sam chicken nuggets and referred to it as "real food" and a FB friend replied snootily something like "Haha, chicken nuggets are considered REAL food now?" and I almost exploded because my kid DOESNT EAT ANYTHING and if he eats a piece of white meat with breading and full of protein then YES it is real food and it's nourishing him. It's easy to judge, but kids eat what they eat. I'm happy if he eats three meals a day. Also, he will not touch pb&j with a 10 foot pole and I wish he would. You are giving your kids a good foundation, they'll go through phases but in the end when they come out of it, they will have a lot of choices because you've taught them how to eat.

  3. This post is too funny too me right now because, coincidentally, I was over joyed just yesterday that now my kids will eat almond butter! (Because it is a source of protein in a pinch...) I've been trying to sneak it in past few years and now they finally like it. I was thinking — next step, get them to eat pb&j sandwich!! There's no spoiling kids when it comes to filling them up with fresh organic yummies, I'm grateful things grow in abundance here because mine won't eat blueberries unless it's fresh from the farm. Immi didn't like pizza either until she what white truffle pizza, now she'll eat any kind as long as its good pizza :)

  4. I'm a food snob too, and I don't always remember it. Yesterday, we were at a preschool friend's birthday party, and there was so much sugar (besides the cake and ice-cream, there was soda, red vines stacked in cups, M&Ms in bowls, etc). I was trying to play it cool, and let Teo go crazy with it (which he was doing, all while eyeing me, like, "Is she watching me eat all this?"), because I can only be SO controlling with my kids' food. I have to let go at birthday parties.

    Your kids have always impressed me with what they will eat. I'm sure it's a phase. I try to justify the amount of PB&J sandwiches my kids eat (well, SB&J for C) by saying that they are eating organic/no-sugar peanut (or soynut) butter and reduced sugar jam from Trader Joe's on whole wheat bread. Can't be that bad, right?