The cleaner you are, the more a witch can smell you... Guess my boy is safe.

Okay, lady-with-a-giant-hairy-wart/mole-on-your-face. If you go shopping 2 days before Halloween, expect that children - namely, my son - will point at your wart and think you are dressed as a witch. A professionally dressed witch, but a warty evil witch nonetheless. ESPECIALLY if you get all screechy and offended because he pointed out your "beauty mark." Crazy ass.

As a side note, it probably doesn't help that he had recently finished watching "the Witches" based on the book by Roald Dahl, so he went completely MENTAL when I quietly assured him that you were, indeed, a witch. "DON'T LET HER GET ME, DAD!!! If she tries to give me candy, I will throw it at her! With a snake!"