Apparently, my television likes to turn itself on and watch
children's shows at the unholy buttcrack of dawn. I mean, I don't SEE anyone,
so it must be the television. Wait- I hear giggling. Must be a ghost, then,
because none of MY spawn would dare challenge a big, mean, scary, uncaffeinated
ogre before the the sun has risen and that bitter nectar of sustenance has
passed his lips.
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