It Was the One-Armed Man!

Trying to discourage Gaius from getting his hand stuck in the outdoor table umbrella hole:

Me: "If you stick your hand in there, it will get stuck and I'll have to cut through the table to get it out!"

Gaius: "Noooooo! You cut through table, 'den you cut through mine AWM!" [grabs arm] "And I say 'aaaaahhhh! My awm! My awm!'"

Me: "No! I would never cut through your arm!"

Gaius: "Yeah-huh! Maybe jus' my fingah."

Me: "I wouldn't cut ANYTHING, just the table to get your arm out!"

Gaius: "Nuh-UH! You cut my Awm off! And I say," [stumbles around dramatically and falls to his knees] "'My AWM!! My AWM!! Where my hand at?!?'