O coffee,
you deliciously bitter life-sustaining nectar...
How your smelly smell wakes my senses
after having spent the better part of a night tending to whiny kids who played too hard and didn't take a nap, so, for some unfathomable reason, at 3 o' frackin' clock in the morning, they sit bolt upright in their bed and scream "I WANT BANANA PANCAKES!!!" In this indescribably horrible screech that melts already faltering synaptic response into a puddle of useless penguin poop, causing me to lumber wild-eyed and disheveled into their room, demanding in a voice laced with hints of brimstone, "WHY?!?!" at which point the child, seeing their father in this state, screams the long, dwindling scream of someone pushed over the edge of sanity, and passes out from sheer terror.
Sweet, sweet coffee...
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