Love Potion No. 96

Biscuit: (running into the room with a vial and a green marker) "Daddy, can I PLEEEEEATH make human blood potion?"

Me: "For WHAT?!"

G:"Humanth! I wanna make blood potion for humanth."

Me:"Uh, no. Also, humans don't have green blood."

G:(looking intently at his marker) "Well, no, this ith for Minionth blood. They need more sinth I drank all theirs..."

Me:"Uh...NO POTIONS! Go build a volcano or something."

G:(Grabs my face and eyes me resolutely) "I'n makin' blood potions, not thtinkin' volcanoes. I'n tryin' to thave LIVES, HERE! Lemme make blood potionth."

Me:"First, tell me what ingredients you are going to use."

G:"Kitchen sthtuff."

Me:"Um, no. Be more specific. There's a LOT of stuff in the kitchen."

G:"All of it."

Me:"No."

Roman:(chiming in) "We'll use all good stuff. Like water, and blackberries, and mint, and some liquids from the kitchen, and some liquids NOT from the kitchen - 

Boogs:(interrupting)"And a FISH! 'Cause I'm makin' a mer MAN!"

G:"I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE A MERMAN! I need blood potion to mix with my other potion to cweate a WAINBOW potion! Wainbow potion is love potion, an' I'n gonna dump it on everyone in da world, and dey will all luuuuuuuv each other! Like you love MOMMY!"

Me:"Oh, that might be kinda messy, the way Daddy loves Mommy. Why don't we cut it with wine, or rum, and then everyone will love on each other, but they'll all be embarrassed and awkward about it come morning."

Gaius:(quizzically) "And then they eat pancakth?"

Me:"No, their brunch will probably be coffee, shame, and possibly crow."

Boogie:"I WANT A MER MAN!"

Me:"Yeah, that's...that's neat, Boogs."