Sunday, January 29, 2012

NOBODY puts Baby in the corner!

You know what's cool? Just Dance 3: Electric Boogaloo. The songs are awesome, but the REALLY cool part is the fat guy. I think he's from one of the first games, but he makes a guest appearance in JD3:EB and I'm like - "Sweet! A fat guy that dances! If he can do it, so can I!"
So I do my warm up stretches (I attempt - in vain - to touch my toes. Once.), crank it up, and begin. This feels good. I feel good. I'm EXERCISING!
I start breathing like a hippo with asthma about a quarter of the way through. Halfway into the song, my legs have suddenly lost rigidity in the bone, and my vision is starting to blur as I flail about the living room like Gumby with a seizure. 3/4 of the way in I'm gasping and clawing in the general direction of the television "MAKE IT...-*huh...huh...HUHHHHHH*-...STAAAAP!!!" By the end I'm trying to stab myself in the ear with the Wii remote but the fucking rubber sheath mocks me. "Heh heh heh, fatty - you're not getting off that easily." About that time I realize my decision to choose Infinite Shuffle may have been a bit of a lofty aspiration, only my fingers are too weak to turn the damn thing off. CURSE YOU,ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!!!

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