Wag the Dog

Giovanna: "Mom, who is that? It looks like Professor McGonagall."

Mommy: "It's Ruth Bader Ginsberg."

Roman: "What does it say about her?"

Mommy: "That she's against voter suppression."

R: "What's voter suss-pression?"

G: "Vader expression?"

Mommy: "Voter suppression. Ok, voting is one way a group of people can make a decision when they don't agree. Like if we all want something different for dinner. If you three kids want--"

G: "BACON!"

Mommy: "Ok, you guys want bacon for dinner, and mommy and daddy want--"

R: "HOT DOGS!"

Mommy: "Ok, hot dogs. So that's three votes for bacon and two for hot dogs. What would win?"

G&R: "BACON!"

Mommy: "Right! So what if mommy and daddy said 'well, we decided twins can't vote.' Now how many votes do we have?"

R: "Um, 1 for bacon and 2 for hot dogs."

G (looking horrified): "Then hot dogs would win!"

R (angry monkey face): "That's not fair!"

Mommy: "That's kind of like voter suppression. Some people say some other people's votes don't count, and it's not very fair at all."

Gaius: "... Can we have bacon for dinner?"

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!

R:(Attempting to scare his sister at "wake time" aka "ass-crack of dawn")moans loudly: "Boooogggiiiiie... BOOOGGGIIIIIIE...I'm coming to GET YOUUUUUU..."

B: "How 'bout you come get a punch in the face, mister ghost fairy! How 'bout THAT?!"

NOT a morning person.

HASENPFEFFER!!!

B:"DAAAAAAAD! GAIUS IS TRYING TO COOK MY BUNNY!"

Me:(from the other room)"Tell him to wrap that fucker in bacon!"

B"WHAT?!?!"

Me:"Nothing! Gaius- be nice to your sister!"