R:If I fell, like out of this tree, and my arm broke, I'd be
just like mommy.
Me:Do you WANT to be just like mommy?
R:(Eying the ground intently)Mayyybeee...
Me:You get the fuck out of that tree.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
We are Controlling Transmission
The twins are censoring themselves.
"I'm gonna pop some taaags, only got twenny dollahs and
my pocket-"
"No, not "and." "In.""
"Well, I'm gonna sing it whatever I want."
(together) IIIIIIIII'N GONNA POP SOME TAGS, ONLY GOT TWENNY
DOLLAHS IN/AND MY POCKET, UH UH AHM HUNTIN', LOOKIN'FOR A COMEUP, THIS IS
BLEEPING AWESOME!!!"
"I wear your Grandads clothes, I look
in-cred-uh-bull-"
"You DO look incredible."
"I know! You like my dress?"
"It's bleeping AWESOME!"
Gaius:(at the top of his lungs)"LINK! HAS COME TO TOWN!
HAS COME TO SAVE! THE PRINCESS ZEEELLLDAAA!"
Cue riotous laughter.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
That bitch be cray cray...
Guest post by my sweet love! -Greybeard
* * *
So there we were, all five of us waiting impatiently for the train with our week's groceries. Some random young woman (who shall henceforth be known as Crazy Lady. For simplicity’s sake) was talking at some other woman about how petite women and non-petite woman gain weight differently, and that SHE (Crazy Lady) was TRULY a petite woman, which is why she gained the way she did, so it wasn't really her fault that she weighed 400 pounds.
Okie dokie, then.
Then she walks up to us and this was the conversation that followed (please forgive any paraphrasing; this was way too much crazy to remember verbatim)…
Crazy Lady: "I have a question for you. Well... I haven't actually formulated a REAL question yet... but you all are wearing greens and look very natural and your kids are wearing unusual clothes, and that looks like some kind of skirt on your son*, and they have the most amazing blue eyes and I was just wondering about you guys."
*(Side note: our 6yo DS wears skirts or dresses sometimes - he usually calls them kilts, and the one he was wearing today was dark khaki with pockets like a utilikilt)
Grey: “Ok, what do you want to know?”
(Me glaring at Grey for opening up this conversation.)
CL: “Well, like, what’s your heritage and faith?”
Grey: “Just mixed up Americans. And agnostic atheist.”
CL: “So what’s your blood type?”
Grey: “What? No. I don’t want to share that with you. That’s a bit bizarre... Why do you want to know?”
CL: “Seriously, is it positive or negative?”
Grey: “Seriously, I’m not gonna tell you.”
CL: “Well, I was just asking because…” The following are a few of the highlights of her next five minutes of talking nonstop…
Grey: "Oh, wow, they did blood typing back then?" (some random bystander giggled) “Anyway, I didn't know mythological creatures even HAD blood types.”
CL (balking momentarily): “Well it’s all written there, in Genesis, so it’s true. Also? Your children’s eyes are AMAZING. They MUST be Indigo Children with eyes like that.”
Grey: “What the hell does that mean?”
CL: “Well, eyes that color mean they’re descended from angels, too.”
Grey (lifting sunglasses): "Um, their eyes are that color because that's the color of my eyes. It’s genetic. For real.”
CL: “Well, anyway, I’ve been thinking of getting married recently. BUT, I don’t know if it will work because the guy I like doesn't want to raise kids in the city, so we'd have to move to Montana out in the country..."
Then our train arrived and we boarded and laughed and laughed and laughed.
And that was our weekend’s entertainment.
Okie dokie, then.
Then she walks up to us and this was the conversation that followed (please forgive any paraphrasing; this was way too much crazy to remember verbatim)…
Crazy Lady: "I have a question for you. Well... I haven't actually formulated a REAL question yet... but you all are wearing greens and look very natural and your kids are wearing unusual clothes, and that looks like some kind of skirt on your son*, and they have the most amazing blue eyes and I was just wondering about you guys."
*(Side note: our 6yo DS wears skirts or dresses sometimes - he usually calls them kilts, and the one he was wearing today was dark khaki with pockets like a utilikilt)
Grey: “Ok, what do you want to know?”
(Me glaring at Grey for opening up this conversation.)
CL: “Well, like, what’s your heritage and faith?”
Grey: “Just mixed up Americans. And agnostic atheist.”
CL: “So what’s your blood type?”
Grey: “What? No. I don’t want to share that with you. That’s a bit bizarre... Why do you want to know?”
CL: “Seriously, is it positive or negative?”
Grey: “Seriously, I’m not gonna tell you.”
CL: “Well, I was just asking because…” The following are a few of the highlights of her next five minutes of talking nonstop…
- Because her blood type is negative, Crazy Lady is of angelic lineage. (O_O)
- Crazy Lady’s mom was adopted (not pertinent to the conversation, unless she thinks her mom’s real parents were angels)
- Crazy Lady “became a Christian and read the bible” ALL BY HERSELF “with no help from anyone” while residing in some kind of psychiatric home
- Crazy Lady KNOWS that she's directly descended from the nephilim because of the giants dying out, and that the blood typing and extinct giants are all spelled out in genesis, which makes it literally true.
Grey: "Oh, wow, they did blood typing back then?" (some random bystander giggled) “Anyway, I didn't know mythological creatures even HAD blood types.”
CL (balking momentarily): “Well it’s all written there, in Genesis, so it’s true. Also? Your children’s eyes are AMAZING. They MUST be Indigo Children with eyes like that.”
Grey: “What the hell does that mean?”
CL: “Well, eyes that color mean they’re descended from angels, too.”
Grey (lifting sunglasses): "Um, their eyes are that color because that's the color of my eyes. It’s genetic. For real.”
CL: “Well, anyway, I’ve been thinking of getting married recently. BUT, I don’t know if it will work because the guy I like doesn't want to raise kids in the city, so we'd have to move to Montana out in the country..."
Then our train arrived and we boarded and laughed and laughed and laughed.
And that was our weekend’s entertainment.
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